American Squirm

HEY SHAY MITCHELL! GOT ONE OF THOSE RIDICULOUS STORIES MODELS LIKE TO TELL IN ORDER TO SOFTEN THEIR UNAPPROCHABLE IMAGE?

In high school I was an outcast... I wasn't cool to hang out with. I ate my lunch in a bathroom stall because that was the one place I could go where I wouldn't been seen.

-SM

thanks, that was a good one

HEY ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO! WHY ARE YOU LUGGING THE EKG MACHINE AROUND?

I have always wanted to be a cardiologist. If I have time I want to study medicine someday.

-AA

Read more at: http://www.azquotes.com/quote/1416330

I GUESS IT'S THOSE HARD HITTING ARTICLES THAT ARE CAUSING ALL THE CONCUSSIONS

N.H.L. Commissioner Gary Bettman continued to deny a link between concussions and the brain disease chronic traumatic encephalopathy, or C.T.E. He blamed the news media for fanning fear of the long-term effects of head injuries and defended the N.H.L.’s “more measured approach” to the growing science of concussions.

all the bs that fits

 

HEY KAREN GILLAN! WALMART'S HAVING A BIG DRESS SALE! YOU GOING?

Basically, I always go to vintage shops rather than going shopping for new clothes.

-KG

LANA WOOD

No, I never ever considered myself attractive.

-LW

HEY CHRISTY TURLINGTON! WHAT'S NEW?

I have a beer belly.

-CT

AUGUSTO PINOCHET

 

I'm not a dictator. It's just that I have a grumpy face.

 

-AP

LESLIE BIBB

I never think, Oh, I'm so beautiful. To me, feeling happy is more important.

-LB

HE'S TELLING THE TRUTH. JUST ASK NORMAN BRAMAN.

Rubio Claims He Would Not Be Controlled By Billionaire Donor Sheldon Adelson

Marco Rubio appeared on "Your World" today and fired back at Donald Trump's claim that he would be controlled by donor Sheldon Adelson if the casino billionaire decides to endorse him.

here

EVAN RACHEL WOOD

All my life people have made fun of me because I was so skinny. They kind of made me feel bad about it sometimes. I worried that maybe people will think I am really anorexic.

-ERW 

NAOMIE HARRIS

I would never wear anything too revealing. I'm not a fan of dresses where you look nude... I think that looks a bit desperate.

-NH
 

EVANGELINE LILLY

 

I used to cry myself to sleep wishing I was ugly because of the way men leered at and disrespected me.

 

-EL

WILLEM DAFOE

Weirdness is not my game. I'm just a square boy from Wisconsin.

-WD

GUSTAV KLIMT

There is no self-portrait of me.

-GK

MINKA KELLY

I think brutal honesty is extremely important. Don't be afraid of being up-front about your feelings and your life.

MK 

BRIAN WILLIAMS CLEARS THINGS UP

What has happened in the past has been identified and torn apart by me and has been fixed and has been dealt with, and going forward there are going to be different rules of the road.

-BW

IZABELLA SCORUPCO

To be honest, I really don't like being the sex object.

-IS

TOM BRADY - ON HIS LAST TURKEY LEG

It's only been 30 hours so I haven't had much time to digest it fully, but when I do, I'll be sure to let you know how I feel about it.

-TB

AUDREY HEPBURN

I never thought I'd land in pictures with a face like mine.

-AH

RAND PAUL - ON BEING A LIAR

I never, ever cheated. I don’t condone cheating. But I would sometimes spread misinformation. This is a great tactic. Misinformation can be very important.

-RP

KELLY HU

 

 

I've managed to keep my clothes on for everything I've done so far.

 

-KH

PINOCCHIO

How ridiculous I was when I was a puppet! And how glad I am that I have become a well-behaved little boy.

-P

WHAT WAS THE FIRST CLUE?

KID NAMED MALARKEY LIED ABOUT GOING TO HEAVEN

Bad news: A kid who said that he'd died and gone to Heaven and proceeded to cowrite a bestselling book titled The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven has recanted. He now says he neither died nor went to Heaven.

the scoop

It turns out he was actually in Toledo the whole time.

B. TRAVEN

If you do not wish to be lied to, do not ask questions. If there were no questions, there would be no lies.

-BT

 

MILEY CYRUS - ON IMAGINARY FRIENDS

 Jesus is who saved me. He's what keeps me full and whole.

-MC

GEMMA WARD

I never really cared about what I looked like.

-GW 

ELLIE GOULDING

 

I would never create an image for myself; I'm not that clever.
 

-EG

KATRINA KAIF

 

Guys never looked at me. I always had crushes on older seniors who never looked at me.

 

-KK

MARCEL PROUST - LIAR

 

Lies are essential to humanity. They are perhaps as important as the pursuit of pleasure and moreover are dictated by that pursuit.

 

-MP

KARL OVE KNAUSGAARD

Saying what you believe others want to hear is, of course, a form of lying.

-KON

GEORGES BRAQUE

Truth exists; only lies are invented

-GB

JESSICA ALBA

I don't like being the center of attention.

-JA

BROOKLYN DECKER

Because I'm such a tomboy, I hate showing off my body.

-BD

CARMEN ELECTRA - ON HAVING A GOOD TIME

People are surprised at how down-to-earth I am. I like to stay home on Friday nights and listen to 'The Art of Happiness' by the Dalai Lama.

-CE

DANIEL ELLSBERG

Look, all administrations, all governments lie, all officials lie and nothing they say is to be believed. That's a pretty good rule.

-DE

-------------------------------------------------

ROSARIO DAWSON COMMITS THE FALLACY OF COMPOSITION

People in Hollywood don't have that much sex, or at least I don't.

-RD

BARRY GOLDWATER - ON DICK NIXON

He was the most dishonest individual I ever met in my life. President Nixon lied to his wife, his family, his friends, longtime colleagues in the US Congress, lifetime members of his own political party, the American people and the world.

-BG

OSCAR MAYER

Go on, have a hot dog. They're really good for you. I swear. And be sure to try some bacon bologna. It's practically organic. Really.

-OM

ELLE McPHERSON - ON OATS, HAY, ALFALFA, AND CARROTS

I eat like a horse!

-EM

PAULEY PERRETTE - ON WHAT THE INTERNET IS FULL OF

The Internet is a strange, strange place that is full of lies. I would say mostly lies.

-PP

JIM BROWN (THE REPUBLICAN JACKASS FROM ARIZONA, NOT THE FOOTBALL PLAYER)

Basically slave owners took pretty good care of their slaves and livestock and this kept business rolling along.

-JB

here

PAUL RYAN - LIAR

When I said ‘inner city’ men are too lazy to work; that’s their ‘culture,’ I didn’t mean it racially.

-PR

here

HERE'S A SHOCKER

Paul Ryan's Free School Lunch Story Never Actually Happened

Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) fired up the audience Thursday at the Conservative Political Action Conference with an anecdote about what he called the heartlessness of giving out free school lunches -- but it turns out that "moving" story never really happened.

Ryan used a story about a young boy choosing a lovingly made brown bag lunch over a free school meal, relayed to him by Wisconsin Department of Children and Families Secretary Eloise Anderson, to illustrate that Democrats offer Americans a "full stomach and an empty soul."

But when Washington Post fact checker Glenn Kessler looked into that tale, he gave it "four pinocchios" because Anderson presented it out of context.

tpm

GORDON RAMSAY

To a table of vegetarians who had artichoke soup. I told them it was made with vegetable stock when it was chicken stock.

-GR

REP. PAUL BROUN

All that stuff I was taught about evolution, embryology, the Big Bang theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of Hell. And it's lies to try to keep me and all the folks who were taught that from understanding that they need a savior.

-PB

ALICE WATERS

Forget all that fancy fresh stuff, all I really need is chili dog, some cheese fries,and a root beer. Now, that's what I call food.

-AW