American Squirm

BONNIE PARKER

Some day they'll go down together
they'll bury them side by side.
To few it'll be grief,
to the law a relief
but it's death for Bonnie and Clyde.

-BP

ALVIN KARPIS

Alvin Francis Karpis nicknamed "Creepy" for his sinister smile and called "Ray" by his gang members, was an American criminal known for being one of the three leaders of the Barker-Karpis gang in the 1930s.

He was the last "Public Enemy #1 to be taken. He also spent the longest time as a federal prisoner in Alcatraz Prisaon, namely twenty-six years, and is one of only two prisoners ever paroled directly from Alcatraz to the free world.

tnb

REESE WITHERSPOON - ON MAGICAL THINKING

I played a lawyer in a movie, so, many times I think I am a lawyer. And clearly I'm not a lawyer, because I got arrested.

-RW

EXCEPT FOR THE LYING, CHEATING, STEALING, AND MURDERING, CHRISTIAN LONGO WAS A HECK OF A GUY, SAYS MICHAEL FINKEL

But on the other hand, who can believe a word he says?

PABLO ESCOBAR

I'd rather be in a grave in Colombia than in prison in the United States.

-PE

CHARLES STARKWEATHER

I always wanted to be a criminal, but not this big a one.

-CS

BILLY THE KID

People thought me bad before, but if ever I should get free, I'll let them know what bad means. 

-BTK

RUTH ELLIS

Ruth Ellis as the last woman to be executed in the United Kingdom, after being convicted of the murder of her lover, David Blakely.

You wont hear anything from me that says I didn't kill David. I did kill him.

-RE

LENNY DYKSTRA

I thought I was put this earth to entertain people on the baseball field, because I was actually pretty good at that. But what I went through last two years, I realized there's a different plan for me, and that's to help people and show them how they can save their homes.

-LD

 

ROBERT STROUD

Robert Stroud , known as the "Birdman of Alcatraz", was a federal prisoner who reared and sold birds and became an ornithologist.

the dope

TED BUNDY

Ted Bundy is one man who so clearly personifies the horror of these twin blights on our society—serial killing and the Republican Party.

Almost seamlessly, Bundy fused the themes of moral values and sexual violence to become one of the most horrific Republicans of the mid-1970s.

In order to unmask the mysteries of the Republican mind, let us investigate the political history of Ted Bundy, a man who used serial killing as a mask of sanity to hide his deep, dark Republican secret.

read all about it

BABY FACE NELSON

Lester J. Gillis (aka: "Baby Face" Nelson) was born in Chicago, Illinois on December 6, 1908. He started in crime at the age of 13, and worked for Al Capone. He was arrested in 1931 but escaped and began a series of bank robberies, two with John Dillinger. After Dillinger's death, J. Edgar Hoover announced that Nelson was now "Public Enemy No. 1." He was killed in a shootout with the FBI in 1934.

details

CHARLES MANSON

You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy. 

-CM 

MACHINE GUN KELLY

Despite his enduring fame and violent nickname, Machine Gun Kelly never killed anyone, and he was never known to fire his namesake tommy gun (a gift from his wife) at anything but tin cans.

source

JOHN DILLINGER

My buddies wanted to be firemen, farmers or policemen, something like that. Not me, I just wanted to steal people's money!

-JD